THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR COMING OUT AND ATTENDING THE FUNDRAISER! I was blown away from how BIG the whole ordeal was. It was a boost in morale knowing I had that much LOVE and SUPPORT from my family, my POLICE family, friends, and the community. It was a special day for me. Thank you all for making it possible. :)
As I watched Mark walk through the garage this morning I had a thought that won't leave me. He was taking Bryce to town to run some errands, and getting into his truck, and the kids had left their bikes all over the place. So it was somewhat of an obstacle course to get to his truck. And just watching him, and trying to move the bikes, and worrying about him falling, and yet not wanting him to know how worried I am, I had the thought- I have to acknowledge the possibility that he may lose this battle with ALS and be taken from me. I never really believed it until now. We looked at each other when he sat in his truck and I wonder if he was thinking the same thing. That is not to say I have lost hope, but I just had a feeling that the course of our lives is not something we can always control. We have seen so many specialists and he is taking so many supplements, drinking special water, wearing magnets on his feet. And yet it seems that his condition is slowly and steadily deteriorating, in spite of our best efforts. And I ask myself the question I have been pushing out of my mind. How could the Lord need him more than I do? More than his four little boys? I have thought that it may not be that the Lord needs him, but that through this trial we will become better people, more fit to live with Him someday. Perhaps Mark is meant to touch the lives of others and this is the best way. I know God loves us and is aware of our needs. It may sound strange, but now, more than ever, I know that He loves me. He loves me enough to let me suffer and grow. He wants us to come to him. But oh, can't I learn the lesson and still keep my husband? Yes, of course we will be together forever, I know that too. I have been comforted so many times lately and felt assured that this just a chapter in our lives. I am deeply grateful for Mark's unfailing faith and example. And to everyone who has prayed with us and for us and helped us in so many ways. Thank you. I have never felt so blessed.
So last week Mark and his brother took all the boys to the lake and went fishing. Towards the end of the day they decided to let the boys swim on the shore so as Mark was getting out of the boat Mikey goes to help him and they both fall in the water. (Thanks Mikey). So he took his wet shirt off and was exposed to the sun for about 30 minutes. Six days later we were very surprised to see his shoulders all blistered and peeling. He's never had a sunburn like this before, and after such a short time in the sun, I can only guess that he's either particularly sensitive, or his body just takes a lot longer to heal than it use to. Maybe both. What's really frustrating is that this weekend he is going on a river canoeing trip with his dad that has been weeks in planning. A really bad time to be still healing from a sunburn. But, I am comforted in the fact that Mark will be with his Dad and brothers (except Mitchell of course) and they are always very thorough in all their packing and preparation. He has a canopy for the boat, and protective clothing, and every kind of sun protection I have heard of besides just staying indoors. Anyway, I hope he has a good time. He has really been looking forward to it.
Well Mark got a couple of canes and a walking stick this week. They really help, and I am wishing we would have gotten him one sooner. That is what the physical therapist said- you should get the next level of help before you think you need it. Don't wait until you are in pain or you hurt yourself. Ok, lesson learned. He even got a Cold Steel cane with the sword inside. Let me tell you, this thing is downright scary. It's pretty heavy too. Mark checked it out and after admiring it for a few minutes, with the boys all watching with wild excited faces, he said "this is actually pretty dangerous, I might hurt myself". Thank you, common sense. We put an apple on the bed to test the sword, and Mark simply let the blade fall on it and the weight of the blade cut the apple cleanly in half, just like that. Scary. And it's sharp on both sides. Ridiculous. Who would ever need such a thing? Needless to say it's in the gun cabinet, hopefully to stay.
Last night we had a little excitement. The dogs were barking hysterically right outside our window so I went to the back door to yell at them before they woke up the baby. Well before I even opened the door I could hear what I thought was the sprinklers- weird, they are not supposed to be on right now. So I looked out, and right there on the porch was a rattlesnake, all curled up and rattling and hissing away at the dogs. So I told Mark and we brought the dogs in. We knew we couldn't leave it out there for the boys to find in the morning, but Mark was not sure he could kill it without risking getting bitten, as his speed and reflexes are not what they used to be. So we called our brother-in-law and neighbor, Brawner, who came right over and shot it with a 22. Nice. While we waited for Brawner to come over I watched it chase a big toad across the porch. I have never seen a toad hop so fast. Anyway very exciting. They cut the head off with a shovel and put that in the dumpster, and then left the body on the trampoline for the kids to examine. Thanks Brawner. Then we let the dogs out again, and they immediately went sniffing around the whole yard until they found it on the trampoline, and Cooper, our black lab, spent the next two hours running around the trampoline and barking at a dead snake.
